Unconditionally

I've finally come across it in reality.
But I'm still having a hard time understanding it.
I don't think I can ever love anyone unconditionally.
It just doesn't make sense.

The Egg Story

A wise friend once told me a story about eggs, which I think is very meaningful and true.

Once upon a time, there was a man who had a fat hen that will lay two big beautiful eggs each day. Everyday after the hen had lay the eggs, the man would collect it from the pen to cook it for breakfast. But before he makes his scrumptious omelette or poached egg or sunny-side-up or scramble egg or whatever he feels like having that morning, he would always give one of the egg to his friend who lives next door. So day after day, the friend would always have a yummy egg breakfast too, and that was how it went for a very long while.

Then came one fine day, when the man went to collect the eggs from the pen, he saw a poor man walked past. He felt obliged to help the poor man, therefore gave one of the eggs to him. That day he did not give his friend any eggs, but went straight home to make his breakfast. The friend, who by now was so used to getting an egg everyday from the man, waited by the window for the egg to come.

So waited he did, from dawn to dusk, but no egg ever came. By nightfall, the friend had been so hungry that he was in a very sour and grumpy mood. He marched angrily up to the man's house and asked where his share of the day's eggs was. When the man explained that he had given one of the eggs to a poor man and had not enough to share, the friend threw a fit demanding that the egg was his and should not have been given to the poor man. All these while, the friend had assumed that the egg belonged to him because it was what he got everyday. However, the egg had never been his to begin with because both eggs belonged to the man. It was of course up to the man to give the extra egg to whoever he wants.

Thus, the moral of this story is that we should never take things for granted. It could end up becoming such a habit that it embeds the idea of ownership to things that never belonged to us in the first place. When the things we unrightly claim to be ours are suddenly taken away, we tend to get angry and start putting the blame on others. This is a very false mindset that many of us have. You may think that it is easy to see that the egg's rightful owner has always been the man, but substitute the 'egg' in the story with 'love' and 'trust' or other intangible things, it may not appear that straightforward.

A person's love is never yours to begin with, it is always up to the person whether or not it is to be given to you, and it can always be taken back. A person's trust is also not yours to keep, as trust is a fragile thing that can be easily broken and withdrawn. So never take anything from anyone for granted because one day when you no longer receive it, you will miss it dearly.

Puasa For A Day

Selamat Hary Raya, maaf zahir dan batin!

Don't fret, I haven't adopted any new religion. I'm still the Apatheist who loves pork XP However, in light of recent incidents that have happened which have gotten a lot of media attention, I probably shouldn't be so blatant =/ Despite the whole 1Malaysia thing, I think Malaysia still lacks behind in terms of racial tolerance, additional thanks to the politicians for making it an even bigger issue *rolls eyes*

According to the theory of in-group-out-group bias, it is easy to understand why some people say the things they say or do the things they do. However, I believe that this form of bias like any other can be overcome or minimized if both groups were to experience walking in each other's shoes and understanding each other.

That brings me to why I did what I did this Ramadan, which was accepting a challenge from a Malay colleague to fast for a day. Though to be honest, I was initially tempted by the prospect of being treated to a yummy break-fast meal *haha* XD Nonetheless, I managed to survived fasting through the day with no food or water. I woke up at 5am that day to have breakfast and didn't eat nor drink till 7.30pm. It wasn't too hard not to eat or feel tempted to eat throughout the day. I even browsed food blogs and sat through lunch with two colleagues eating pork noodles in front of me *LOL* However, the fact that I couldn't even drink a sip of water during the day really tested my perseverance. By 4.30pm in the evening, I thought I would die from thirst and was starting to feel drowsy because I skipped lunch. Come 6.30pm when my colleague finally said we could head to the restaurant where we will be breaking fast, I couldn't be more glad =D

When the break-fast prayers went off, I took my first bite of sweet date for the first time. It tasted better than I expected and the first sip of liquid other than my own saliva since 5.45am was like heaven. I shared a meal with 3 of my Malay colleagues in an Arab restaurant full of Muslims and was totally enjoying myself chomping down the food, talking about everything including my experience and the reason behind fasting.

It felt really good to have successfully fasted, and I totally understand what Muslims have to go through now. I really respect all the Muslims who truly fast for the right reasons *SALUTE!* And I know they would have been proud of me for what I've done just like my 3 Malay colleagues too =D By going through what they go through, I now understand them a little more and am happy for that =) For all those who have never tried fasting, let me tell you now that you will never know how it feels like until you have gone through it yourself. There is no way of describing the sort of hardship one goes through with no water or food when it is so readily available all around us.

Not long after my fasting experience, I came across this Joseph Germani's video which talks about his experience of fasting for a day as well during this Ramadan month.

I believe my thoughts on my experience and his are quite similar and that if more people are willing to put themselves in another's situation, there will definitely be a lot more understanding and tolerance of each other's culture and religion. The world will no doubt be a much better place if everyone strive towards a mutual understanding =)

PEACE OUT!

I can't read minds

Everytime when people learned that I did Psychology in university, they always ask "So you can read minds/people?" And the sad answer is "No, I can't!"

I'm actually pretty bad when it comes to reading people, or maybe I just don't trust my instincts/intuition enough or just couldn't be bothered reading them because I prefer to judge a person based on how s/he interacts with me in reality. That is to say, as long as Person A treats me a particular way, that is how s/he will be in my books unless proven otherwise; I won't try to second guess their intentions except under certain circumstances.

You may say I'm naive for behaving that way, but I don't see the point of complicating matters which I cannot fully comprehend. The human mind is a complex mechanism that produces complicated output, but I like things to be simple. I guess I am turning a blind eye on the ugly-ness of human nature, but why make life difficult for oneself by doubting others?

No doubt that gaining more understanding of the people around you will give you an added advantage and prevent oneself from being deceived. Though how reliable is that understanding? Psychology had taught me that everything is subjective and there will always be outliers, heck we even calculate standard deviation for our experiments! So what does that tell you? There is never a right or wrong answer when it comes to understanding humans, there are only generalizations, which can be dangerous when applied wrongly or misused.

So let me ask you this...would you want the ability to read what is on another's mind?

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one."

- Imagine by John Lennon

The Corporate World

All the unspoken rules
All the between the lines

All the backstabbing

All the lies and deceit

All the sacrificial stepping stones

All the success

All the rewards

All the status

All the fame and fortune

All the promises of glory

I HATE IT!

Am I suppose to learn how to cope and overcome all these?

To grow up? =(