Obsession

Started reading The Zahir the day before, just because I felt like reading something, and it seemed like a good read at that time. I've started the book before, but never finished it for whatever reason I have forgotten. Usually it's because it's boring for I don't understand it, especially with books such as The Zahir. But today, about two-thirds through the book, I started to realize something, or rather I felt something. I know I usually get into a sort of state when I read, especially with these kind of books. But the feeling today was very peculiar, which is why I am writing about it now. It left me feeling like there's something empty inside me, things are emptying out. It's not a very pleasant feeling I must say, but it sort of gives me hope that maybe if things are emptying out that I can start to let things in, which I'm usually afraid of doing. It's a very weird feeling I must say. Maybe Paulo Coelho's book are really as spiritual as they say, though I certainly did not remember feeling this way when I read The Alchemist. I have yet to finish The Zahir, I don't know how I will feel when I turn over the last page. But as of now, it really is having an effect on me. The hole in the heart feeling is so great that I even have to put a pillow over my chest in order for me to continue reading, though it doesn't really help much as the feeling still remains. I thought by writing about it that it may go away, but I can still feel it right now. It's a very weird feeling indeed. I really hope I can understand the true meaning of The Zahir by the end of the book. Till then, I'll just have to wait for the epiphany or whatever and continue reading.

p.s. I'm not crazy.