I was going to write about exams today but something more interesting got in the way......
THE AUNTY KILLER!!!
Or better known as 师奶杀手 (rough Cantonese pronunciation - si nai sat sau)
*LOL*
Hope you were not thinking along these lines...
I had my first real-life encounter with one today. I never thought it was possible because I always thought they exaggerate the aunty killer's role in movies and drama, but boy was I wrong *haha* It was a pretty interesting experience as you will see...
Mum told me that she had found a new yoga place nearby and asked whether I want to go try it out. Since I stopped yoga a few months ago I've been doing some stretching on my own to maintain my not-so-good flexibility. However, due to assignment month last month and exams this month I've been slacking off and my flexibility is worst than ever =( In a desperate attempt to prevent my poor flexibility from getting worst, I went to check out the place with her.
From the way mum described the class, I was already expecting somesort of yoga class for aunties. When we reached the place, the sight of two very aunty-like aunties confirmed my prediction immediately. Then, I heard one of the aunty say that the instructor is a 'hao sang zai' (young guy), and a small little doubt popped into my head about this group of aunties...
We went up to this rather shady "dance studio" with very dusty floor and mirrors that have not been cleaned for god knows how long. The aunty-in-charge kept emphasizing on the security of the place before we went up to the "studio" as that area is a popular target for crimes and stuff, but I did not expect to see a TV with live CCTV broadcast of the stairways leading up to the studio *WOW*
As we waited for the instructor to arrive, the aunty-in-charge happily chatted away. She is one of those super sociable aunty, you get my drift? Like the ones you see in movies and dramas, those who likes to initiate conversation with whoever in close proximity. I am not trying to insult her, but the way she kept talking to me and mum just made us (or maybe just me) feel really awkward. I just kept smiling and smiling because I didn't know how to respond =S She even played "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" by Pitbull and "Nobody" by Wonder Girls from her line-dancing class on the stereo and turned up the volume real loud. Maybe she did it to make me feel less intimidated by all the aunties, but I highly doubt it since she was enjoying shaking her booty to the music -_-''
When I thought I could no longer stand it, I saw some movement on the TV screen. A young-looking guy was walking up the stairways *Ooo~* The instructor is finally here! He look quite good on TV ^_^ I was anticipating the moment when he stepped through the door......and I was a bit dissapointed......
He is quite tall, has a thin but fit body with really toned arms (he trims his underarms *cringe*), a mini goatee, a tattoo on the back of his neck and another on one of his shoulder blade and maybe more out of view =P He wore a light-colored skinny fitting tank top and black long pants, had cool accessories on his arms and legs, and carried a backpack that has a slight 'zai-zai' (the gender opposite for 'la-la') feel to it. Apparently he also styled his hair today according to one of the aunty. To sum it up, he looks like one of those thin but toned male dancers you often see on So You Think You Can Dance with a pretty good-looking face, which sadly isn't my type due to their metrosexual/slightly feminine personality *sigh*
So there you go, a description of THE AUNTY KILLER!!! I am pretty sure you have no difficulty understanding why he has been crowned with the title. It is really not that hard to imagine. Even the aunty-in-charge sort of acknowledged the fact. Since mum and I just wanted to see how the class was conducted, the aunty-in-charge made a joke that we just wanted to look at the instructor *jaw dropped* I really have no doubt about these aunties having wet dreams fantasizing about the instructor -_-''
The class began once the typical calming yoga music was put on. After the usual breathing and calming session, the moves began
*hehe* At first the instructor remained at the front a lot, I thought he would not physically correct the aunties' pose like most other instructors do because of the aunties' sensitivity to skin contact
*LOL* But he soon move in to help some of the aunties with their pose. I could see that he was really self-conscious of where he was touching the aunties
*LOL* It was really funny to see him using his forearm to put pressure near an aunty's ass
*HAHAHAHAHA* and he uses his fingers to lift up another aunty's abdomen. I was seriously laughing on the inside the entire time, it was such an experience to see an aunty killer at work
*LOL* This yoga class is probably how these aunties' displace their desires, an attempt to satisfy their id (refer to Freud's
defence mechanism theory), but too bad the instructor is depriving them of maximum pleasure
*LOL*
After about half an hour of observing the aunty killer and his admirers, me and mum decided to leave. The aunty-in-charge read our minds or something because right then she asked the instructor for a break. The instructor tried to joke a bit about having the break so soon and whatnot, but thank god he did not continue and start flirting or something. I swear I would have laughed out loud if that happened *HAHAHAHAHA* It's even having an effect on me just by thinking about it *LOL*
Straight after we left the building, I hastily asked mum whether she wanted to join the class because I clearly do not want to be a part of this group of horny aunties. I am assuming that mum share my views on the situation because she seemed less interested in the class compared to her initial response. I wonder if she would actually go for it since she said if she were to go it'd be more of a social thing, as in getting to know more people and stuff. I really have a hard time imagining mum amongst those aunties with hidden intentions =S
Note: The above is just my personal opinion. The aunties probably have genuine intentions to learn yoga as they are all very flexible (a hell lot better than me that is -_-'') and the instructor just conincidentally happen to be a young good-looking guy XD
